If Zigging isn't working… maybe try Zagging?

There are so many ways to skin a cat.  One person’s earth-shattering framework to improve their craft may be anathema to another.  So if a strategy isn’t working… maybe try the exact opposite?  Below are some examples from my journey to upskill in writing and speaking.

Speaking

I’ve been terrible at public speaking forever. Memories of public speaking situations are seared into my brain under the category “horror stories.”   At my elementary school Christmas play, the teachers gave me the part of baby Jesus because it was the only role with no “speaking part”.  Doing my MBA, a program full of group case presentations,  I curated and picked teammates that were good public speakers so I could “ride their wave”. In my thirties,  I said I would deal with it and joined Toastmasters.  I attended three meetings and immediately fell off the wagon.  The process of counting your “ums” and “aahs” and working on prepared speeches was pure torture for me. Preparing and practicing for Toastmaters meetings simply “raised the stakes,” which put me into a debilitating loop of anxiety.  I couldn’t commit to this. I was just going to have to find another way to manage.  I optimized my life to minimize situations where I was on stage. But as you climb the success ladder, you eventually find yourself in more visible situations that require you to be comfortable with public speaking. Last year, over a decade later,  after a bungled speech at a technical conference, I resolved to finally address the issue (again). I found a CbC, Ultraspeaking, that focused on public speaking with an unusual and intriguing philosophy.  They have unusual tenets like “speak before you think” and “speak without notes,” which was a completely novel and intriguing approach to learning public speaking. Nine months later, I can attest their approach works for me.   While I haven't suddenly turned into some amazing TED speaker, and the fear of public speaking hasn’t fully dissipated, I now look forward to speaking and the dread and debilitating anxiety weeks before a public event is gone.   As I get more reps in, I can tell I am getting better and more confident.  I still say “umm” and “ahh” quite frequently. I still get nervous. But my goal was never really to sound like Casey Kasem.   I simply want to sound like a more confident version of myself.

Writing

All expression is concision.  Compress! Compress! Compress!  Sometimes it feels like the basic online advice is we should all practice brevity until we turn into Twitter thread generators (a la @naval¹).  Look, I do agree we are living in an age of information overload.  Being able to cut to the chase can be powerful.  But, sometimes, we need the build-up to the chase!  Minimalism is not the only design philosophy in town. Our world is full of nuance and complexities that sometimes can only be properly explored via long-form writing. Lyssa Menard is an example of a writer that I admire whose strength is clearly in long form – and she unabashedly leans into it!  So follow your intuition. If you lean long – no problem. Ignore the writing advice that doesn’t work and borrow from the strategies that do!  

As Lyssa says, “You be you. I’ll be me. ”

Mix and Match

(or variety is the spice in life!)

There is no perfect recipe for a good life. Recipes are a great place to start. But the real value is finding and customizing recipes that work for you.  And maybe squeezing the food metaphor a bit, sometimes you just need to mix it up.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t eat steamed vegetables and fish every day, no matter how healthy it is supposed to be.  I need to mix it up once in a while. A little Kerala spiced coconut curry, Dol Sot BibimBap, or Tacos de Lengua mixed in the routine helps keep me smiling. 

Craft a recipe book with what works for you. And don’t be surprised if you start customizing the recipes on the way.

1. No disrespect intended to Mssr. Ravikant. I actually enjoy his pithy and insightful tweets. But the broader trend of trying to tweetify every insight drives me a bit crazy.